The Crazy Train is Pulling In… C[h]oo C[h]oo

My soul has been strangely and consistently in a state of unrest lately.  I needed to get out of the house the other night so I got in the car and started driving.  I didn’t really have a destination and just drove until I found myself at a near-by park.  I found a cozy spot and watched kids playing on the swings and wrote in my journal.  It wasn’t anything special… but it was what my mind needed.  I stood for a while… would have stayed longer but unfortunately the bugs in NC are relentless…. so back in the car I went.  I didn’t turn on the music… I wanted to hear the wind, the tires on the pavement, my breathing and I wanted to pay attention to the many thoughts I have been trying to avoid.  They’ve been nagging me.  I try to ignore them until I can’t anymore… until they are not so gently tapping me on my shoulder.  But unfortunately they are speaking to me in another language… and I can’t seem to decode whatever this unrest means.  I wound up at Barnes & Noble which almost always magically makes me feel at peace.  I fingered through books I knew I wouldn’t buy…  cursed the thought of a Nook… and made notes of some books that I want to go back for.  I didn’t necessarily want to purchase anything… I just wanted to be there surrounded by books and people that couldn’t tell that I was on the verge of some kind of breakdown.

I didn’t stay long… the boo wanted Bojangles… and I told her I wouldn’t be in late.

There really isn’t a point to this post..which I am noticing is becoming a pattern… I guess certain things are just worth documenting for reflection later.

Vanessa xoxo

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