Pain Pain Go Away… If Only It Were That Simple!

Not all hurts go away… some last a lifetime. I guess the point is not to let our pain consume us… but realistically speaking… some shit is just hard to deal with or get over.

I think part of my own inability to let stuff go has been feeling that my pain has not been acknowledged.  No one has said sorry.  At times I have even been made to feel as though my feelings were invalid.  And that has only added to my hurt.

It has been almost twenty years since my father passed away and I am still bitter about it.  I still long for things I know I will never have. It frightens me to think that those feelings will never go away.

And then there is the physical pain.  I am in the midst of one of the worst Fibromyalgia flare-ups I have ever experienced in my life and I quite literally don’t know what to do with myself.  I am in pain every waking moment and I’m not sleeping well… even tossing and turning hurts.  It has reached a point where I feel myself teetering back and forth over this very fine line.  One side of the line is me functional and trying to keep a level head about things.  The other side of the line is me… depressed and feeling sorry for myself.  I’m wobbling and trying desperately not to go over the edge.

All pain whether physical or emotional requires pain management.  I am trying to stay positive… I am praying… and counting my many many blessings.

Things WILL get better!

Pour some water into a tub and stir it up.  Now try as hard as you can to calm the water with your hands; you will succeed in agitating it further.  Let it stand undisturbed a while, and it will calm down by itself.  The human brain works much the same way.  ~Koichi Tohei, Ki in Daily Life


Vanessa xoxo

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