Today I Learned that Answering Services are USELESS

This is what I was hoping for.

I was super excited about my appointment this morning with a brand new doctor.  I was hoping to get some answers about my protein deficiency and my hair.  I arrived early to the address indicated on the Empire BCBS website… and was immediately confused.  [Insert Scooby noise here]  A nursing home?  Okay… I know I’m getting old but I don’t think this is where I am supposed to be.  A woman stopped me as I approached the building –  I guess the confusion was visible – “This is a nursing home,” she said.

“Yeah I can see that,” I replied. “This was the address that was indicated on the Internet for a doctor’s office.”  I looked at the little piece of paper in my hand that I had scribbled the address and phone number on.

“Ask that man over there,” the woman said pointing over to some random guy on the street.

“Ask that man where my doctor’s office is?”

“Yeah, ask him.  He might know something,” she said waving her stubby little arm in his direction.

The rain was starting to fall.  I looked down at my scrap paper – the numbers were beginning to smudge. “No. I think I will call the office – I don’t think that guy,” I said pointing to the guy, “is going to know where my doctor’s office is.”

“Are they opened yet?  They might not be open yet you know,” she said smugly.  I was starting to think she didn’t want me to ever get to my appointment.  Who was she?  Did she have something to do with the wrong address on the site?  Flustered, I dialed the number that was quickly becoming illegible.

“Hello, Doctor ________ office.”

“Hi! My name Vanessa and I had an appointment for 8 o’clock this morning… the address on the site says 144 South Oxford, but it’s a nursing home.”

“Listen Miss, I don’t know nothing about no nursing home or no address on the Internet. This is just the answering service.”  Her voice was raspy and she had a thick old-Italian-lady-Brooklyn accent.”

“Well it says….”


Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?


Had she really just hung up on me?

*Redials number*

“Ummmm did you just hang up on me,” I asked the woman with the distinct voice of the person I had just spoken to.

“I dunno what ya tawking about lady, I didn’t just speak to you.”

“Yes you did and you hung up on me.”


*Temperature rising*

*Beads of sweat forming*

*Redials number*

“Ummm why do you keep hanging up on me?  What kind of answering service is this? You don’t answer anything!”

“Listen lady I dunno what you want me to tell you.”

“I am going to tell the doctor’s office how rude and unprofessional you are.”

“Do you what you gotta do lady.”


Pretty sure this was her.

I was done.  Over myself.  I waited a while – until I thought the office would finally be open to call back.

“Good morning Doctor __________ office.”

“Good morning.  My name is Vanessa, can you please confirm that I have an appointment at your office this morning,” I said starting to think I was losing it.

“You wanna come in and see the doctor?”

“Can you please confirm my appointment?  My name is Vanessa.  I had an appointment for 8 o’clock this morning.”

“You can come see the doctor… come now.  He’s an eye doctor… you want to see an eye doctor?”

“You know what?  NEVERMIND!”


I doubt an eye doctor was going to help me with my hair.  I took my not-so-happy-ass to work.  All I could do was laugh. ONLY ME!

When I got to work, I looked up another doctor and made an appointment.  I TRIPLED checked the address with her.  She must have thought I was a nut.

Vanessa xoxo

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